you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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