I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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