the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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