I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You took a bar mat shot.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize