I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
