trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
