Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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