okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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