ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I just want nice things and good sex
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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