What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
