i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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