READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
