Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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