Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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