Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Randomize
