She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
either way he was missing a nipple.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
