And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
