that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
