She said her name was "party"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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