At least make sure they are 18
Why
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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