like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
