jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
