i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
