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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade

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• (516): View more from New York

  Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole

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