My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
