You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
