Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
