A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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