So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
