Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
