he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
