your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
