My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize