Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
