For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
