if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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