Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
