just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
