I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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