you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
