Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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