I feel great
I just peed on a car
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
