My girlfriend figured out who you are.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize