addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
