How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
