And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
worst night to have a conscience
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
