Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
