I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
