Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
