i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i think i have herpe
just one?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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