Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
don't judge my taste in strippers
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
