last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
