I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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