she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize