tell your sister to shave her snatch
I look better un-naked...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
