No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize