how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
