I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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