Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
