This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
you inspire me to be a worse person
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
