Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
