I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
