ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
