Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
