He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
