can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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