if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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