Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
