There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
