I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
