But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
