you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
