is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
