Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize